SofI 2015: Insight into Seeds of Inspiration

INSIGHTS INTO "SEEDS OF INSPIRATION"

As I sit on the balcony of my room, watching the final moments of the sun setting behind the mountains across Lake Geneva, I feel a deep sense of gratitude towards the gift of life. My life.

Prior to my arrival at Caux Palace, I was apprehensive and didn’t know what to expect from this first ever visit. In a place with breathtakingly stunning views and what feels like an infinite amount of natural space, I felt claustrophobic and wanted to escape. I felt uncomfortable, but I didn’t know why. The people I was meeting were different; people I would not normally associate myself with. The following morning at our first plenary meeting, we were invited to foster an attitude of turning judgement into curiosity, so I asked myself why I was thinking and feeling this way.

I realised very quickly that the people were in fact individuals who were open, loving, human and unafraid to be themselves. And that scared me and provoked within me feelings of envy. I was interacting with people - young and old – from all walks of life who unashamedly embraced who they were: their identity, their struggles in life and all with a willingness to share their stories and be vulnerable in front of others.

Seeing this stirred within me something very deep and somewhat painful and I wondered: am I afraid to be me? What does ‘being me’ even mean? And so, I have begun a journey of curiosity about who I really am and who I would like to be. There are inner whisperings encouraging me to make a change within myself – a big one – so that I can truly reach my full potential and stop being held back by fear; fear that on the surface was creating judgements about others and myself.

Yasmine Kamel